At the park

Good morning.

I decided today to post from the park I go when I go on my walk. I'm tried to keep up with my goal to lose weight. Yesterday I walked six miles. Five miles by myself. And another miles walking Rocky for his morning walk. I don't think he likes to walk far. But I wanna keep him as healthy as I can.

I believe when I woke up I was 285.8 and after my walk I was 283.6. I haven't weigh myself yet this morning. As soon as I get I will do it. Sometimes it's hard to do everything before I go out especially before rocky has had his walk.

Last nite I was texting my ex. I was telling him that I was trying I lose weight. He was like u don't need to. U look fine the way u are.And he like I like your curves. I said to him thanks I appreciate u saying that. I really do need to lose the weight. Cuz I don't wanna have to deal with diabetes like other people in my family do. He was like I just want you to be healthy. He always made me feel like my size didn't matter. He cared about me the way I was. I makes me feel good.

I will be back later to update my weight. Ttyl.

Hey,

Well I guess you can say I have been slacking the past few months. Things didn't work out with my ex. He went back to the same person he was. I thought he could change but he did it to me again. It took me two months to get out of my funk with him. We are still friends. I just decided it's time to do me. If he wants to be in my life, he will make the effort.

It's not worth getting caught up in the past anymore. I have got the opportunity of a new beginning here in Florida. Not many people can say the same. I got good news today. I was offered a job here. Finally I was beginning to think that no one in Florida was getting me and I didn't fit in. I have to give it a chance to. Yes it's not New York City. But it has potentials for being better. I could never in NY were shorts in December. I do miss my friends terribly. But life has to move. I felt in the beginning that I was in a bubble watching everyone else live but me.

One of my reason for moving to Florida was to get healthier. In New York, I never had the time. It's not that my priorities were my friends and work. I never got to see me or take care of me.I let myself go in the process. Looking back, it was my fault. I got this way and now I have to change myself. No one will do it for me. One my biggest reasons why I want to get healthy is that My father has diabetes. It's virtually killing my dad. And he won't do anything to change it. My fear is that I will be just like him. I don't want to have diabetes too. Luckily I have not contact it yet.

Back in September I got down to 268.8 from 320.0. I was so proud of myself. I got lazy and let myself go again. I put on twenty pounds in over three months. I weigh myself on Sunday morning and I was 287.8. I was sad. But I realized that I have come so far to let it all go. Yes I have a lot to go to get to my goal. I will get to my goal. I would really like to be 260.0 by my birthday in February or less. I know a lot of the weight I put on was water. I can lose it again.

My weight today was 285.8. I got 25 pounds to lose. I want this so bad.

Off to bed now.

My ex

Well last night was interesting. I was on the phone with a friend. I got call waited from a number that I didn't know. At first I wasn't gonna pick it up. I picked it up and it was my ex. I was like wow. Where did this cone from? When I left NY, we left on so so terms. I did get to say goodbye to him. But what I wanted was for him to tell me to stay.

We weren't together a long time. A couple of months. U know when u just vibe with someone. He made me So happy when we were together. I felt safe and secure with him. He was the only guy I could sleep at night with. I thought things were going well. And he decided that us being together wasn't the right thing for him. I was heart broken. We remain friends. I felt that there was more to it. Afterwards things became awkward between us. I wanted what we had and he didn't.

Anyways back to the present now. Tonight we talk like no time had past. I even got him to say I miss u several times. But in the back of my head was like where is this coming from? I know he wants to see me. but why did it take six months for him to do that. I don't want to get attached to him cuz it took so long to get here. But I do want him in my life. I wish he was here with me. Well see what happens.

I'm so blah today. That's all I have to say.

My Weekend

Well as always the weekend goes to quickly. On Saturday I had a slip, I had Chinese food with my parents. We went out and I didn't really have a choice. I was so proud of myself earlier cuz I got down to 270.8 after my walk. And to blow it like that. But I'm human. One thing I don't understand is why I retain so much water. Like I feel like I put on three pounds when I drink water. Who knows???

I woke up at on sunday at 274.2. My day was all out of wack. Normally I exercise in the morning. I had to help my parents put some stuff in their storage room. Then we went food shopping. I relaxed an hour to only do two hours of yard work. I cut down my first tree. It wasn't big at all. But I couldn't stand looking at it anymore. I'm sure my tree hugging neighbors will hate me. Then I did my 3 mile walk which pooped me out. Now I'm off to watch some tv and sleep.

Laters.

My day

Well my day start at 915 which was a miracle cuz Rocky never let's me sleep past 815 in the morning. I do miss sleeping late. Maybe one day I will get to sleep again. Havin' a puppy is work! Otherwise I did my 4 mile walk. I swear I lost like two pounds at least on it. Maybe I should be jogging. Im not sure if that is a wise choice. I feel like I need to lose more weight before I can take on the task of jogging. I feel at 274 pounds jogging might be too much for my body. Plus it's still too hot here in Florida. Granted I see a lot of other person doing it. But they are in better shape then I am.
I'm excited about going to disney in a few weeks. And I'm trying to lose as much weight as possible before I go. I know I will gain some weight being there. How much can four days in Disney do? anyway now I'm off to get dinner at my parents.

Second one today

I thought I would put some pics up. It's been such a long time since I had a blog. I think my last one was on xanga. That was a long time ago. I feels weird but exciting at the same time. Anyways off to watch the jersey shore. Laterz.